Must Kill Potter
4 days hold us from the new Harry Potter book. I thought I should share my views with the Harry Potter fans, or (for need of a better and more 'sensitive' word) people who like Harry Potter. I think this is going to be the best book...And I hope Harry dies. Let me tell you why...
Harry is a complete idiot...Why, you ask? Well, nobody would kill his own godfather because he had a freaking DREAM about it. Okay, let's say I come tomorrow and tell you I saw you die in a dream, and so I gotta kill you today (Sorry dude, I always had the right dreams, you gotta die)...It wouldn't matter if I added that I go to a magic school, wear cloaks or carry a magic wand, you'd think I'm mad with no more information. Anybody with that much idiocy, insanity and recklessness should relieve humanity from his retardation. And DIE!
Number Two: Harry must be a horcrux. Of course, you're gonna find out in a few days anyhow...But I think that night in Godric's Hollow (does the old Opera music), Harry was made a Horcrux. Think about it, what's worse than killing two of the best sorcerers of all time? I mean, it IS evil and we know from Book 6 that what you need to do it Horcrux-style is a nice, big, fat evil thing. Horcrux sounds very close to Hor Is Cruise but of course, that is a completely different thing. That might help you understand what I'm 'playing at'. Therefore, Harry must eventually kill himself so that somebody else might kill Voldy, preferrably Lupey though.
Number Three: Harry's character is based on the existence of evil all around him. If Voldy dies, then Harry has no reason to live...Because happy endings are SO SO SO boring and I'm sure Jojo hates them as well as we do. So here's a nice scenario: Harry kills Voldy, Voldy dies, all horcruxes destroyed...Later that evening, Harry has a fatal heart attack. And you can still have the last word as 'scar'...Something like: "There was something so evident about that corpse. Apart from Harry throwing up his breakfast before his horrible heart attack because of Ron's attempts to revive him with a glass marble, there was something special about Harry's face...That weird, everlasting scar". See? That's so cool, ain't it? Oh God, can I be lamer?
Number Four: We're supposed to find out a big thing about Harry's mommy. And what can that be? She was hot? We know that. She was cool? We know that. She had a crush on Snape who dumped her for the Giant Squid? Well, not technically, but maybe. What if that thing is that Harry's mommy actually helped Voldy do that nice little potion in that cozy little cave? And then Harry finds out and drama breaks...Harry has to kill his momma again, so he kills himself by ODeing on Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, he then joins his mom and well...You know what happens.
Four is a good number. So I stop at the four...
And I'm drinking 7-up right now...So it seems a moment that is worthy of a burnt toast:
To Harry's Death...
7ayakom!
5 comments:
Movies are my thing, but Harry was always a 'nothing' to me. Its plain fiction and visual effect, plot wise; the book might win the race. Nonetheless, having that much of popularity, I think I should give Harry a break.
Tell you the truth, the first parts were interesting, having something new, and really active !
I am not a fan of Harry Potter, never read the books, but watched the movies, the last part was just a joke !!!
THANK YOU ! I LOVE YOU !
DIE POTTER DIE
Must Kill Thomas Harris.
LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT ?! EH MUGGLE!!
Ahem, how are you, where've you been, back from Egypt yet?
Meticulousness: Yeah, you should for some time. I mean, I wanted him to die and everything...But still lol.
Stormy: The movies suck...Try out the books. Most of them are a BIT farfetched though!
Ti3gib: She didn't kill him :(
Um khalid: No I don't. Thomas Harris deserves life, Harry does not lol. Still in Egypt yes...
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