Because I Hated It

Because I Said So...

This movie was a two-hour session of visual and audial torture. It was a torture to all those who pocessed brains. A mental suffering worthy of the secret chambers of the CIA, along with movies like, 'Mickey Blue Eyes' and 'Notting Hill'. Silly, stupid movies, aimed at silly, stupid audience and made by people so retarded, they probably cannot spell their own name.

I know what you're thinking. You think I'm exaggerating and taking this a bit too far...
But you don't know what I'm talking about. The movie's supposed dramatic parts are the funniest of all. You see, whenever one of the charachters (all charachters are women, and the men, who are only two actors who I never saw in a movie up to now, are probably gay in actuality) gets intense and dramatic, a piano starts on the background. LOL. I mean, seriously? It was SO funny...And it's not like a background piano. It's an ACTUAL piano...Out and loud and...bad. Really, really bad.

Now here's an example of the kind of conversation you hear on the movie...It was my quest to come out of a few understandable words from the way they all talk (about 50 words per second and barely any pauses, you'd think their tongues run on batteries)...The dialogue runs something like this:

Mom: What are you gonna do with you hair?
Daughter 1: Shut up mom.
Mom (turns to other daughter): What are you gonna do with your hair?
Daughter 2: Shut up mom.
Mom (turns to third daughter): What are you gonna do with your hair?
Daughter 3: Shut up mom.
Mom (gets tearful): I'm trying to teach you a thing or two about motherhood...I'm super-duper SERIAL. You...looneys. I'm seventy years old and I'm DESPERATE to find a movie I can act in...AAAAAH!
*director comes in and takes Mom back to the mental institution*

Now imagine that kind of conversation...Repeated around three hundred and seventy eight times...And then again in your head when you're still not sober from the idea that you may have spent two hours of your precious life watching this. I was so bored, so angry, I started making farting noises outta my mouth. And then, at the parts when they cried, I pointed my finger at the screen and started laughing the crap outta myself saying things like, 'HAHAHAHAHAHA, she's alone and sad...Stupid idiot. U-G-L-Y, she ain't got no allibi!' until my cousins had to shut me down...I was hoping the usher would just come kick us out, personally.

Aaaanyhow...I'm back in Muscat. School starting in some time and all. Gotta get uniform...Gotta get my results. Gotta get some books too. And crap the biggest 'gotta' of them all: Gotta study.

Take care strangers...