Dead

Sometimes I picture the world without me...It's kind of depressing, really. Up to now, I cannot fathom the way people will react when I die. I was not of much importance except to my family or those who I considered friends. I'm quite aware that people I barely know will just have an initial shock followed by, 'Wow, what a world!' and then carry on with their lives. I'm quite aware that my friends will remember me after I die...At least for a while. I mean, I think I was a pretty good guy. I don't think I screwed up that bad with the people I befriended. I don't think I did things for people to hate me...I mean, I never like really made someone angry or try to let someone down. I sound so pathetic saying that to myself; but really; I checked and I haven't done any of those things. Yet.

I don't think people will be 'happy' when I'm dead. That's just an exaggeration we all make. No one is happy when someone dies. It's just a sick idea we sometimes like to think is true. I do believe that the guy at the elevator in college will probably not even notice I was dead. That would suck. Dying without being noticed by a bunch of people who you saw and they you everyday. Certain members of forums might not have an ounce of sympathy at all...I meant nothing to many; which feels a little depressing too.

Sometimes I imagine dying sometime soon. When I did zero in my life. I didn't fall in love, or get married or have kids. I was loved by a fair few and that must count..Let's say a couple of weeks from now, I just drop dead. In an accident or something. That would suck, though, as a method of death. I mean; nobody wants to die with their brains sprayed all over the street and their crushed bones scrapping the sidewalk. Most people want to die a 'proper' death; with a nice comfortable bed and a huge dose of anesthetic in their veins...Cause of death: Heart failure. Easy. Thank you very much, show's over. See, now that's a 'nice' death...But it's still just death. It doesn't make much of a difference if it knocks while you're in a tuxedo or in a bathrobe. You will have to open the door. It doesn't come in Small, Medium and Large either; everybody gets the same order.